This process has been one setback after another, and just as we thought we were on our way we received one more bit of bad news. The children that we have been planning on adopting were adopted out already and are no longer available.
We feel like a dagger has been placed in our heart. We have been praying for these children for 9 months! We have their pictures in our home, we have clothes for them, we have named them, we have set up rooms for them, and we have bought toys for them. Now they are no more. It definately leads us to ask "Why?" I thought of the many other failed adoptions that have happened in our lives. We definately have had our share. The young girl in Texas, our little Gretchen who was killed before placed into our home, and countless others. One looking from the outside would probably tell us that someone is trying to tell us something - It is not going to happen, be happy with what you have! And we are happy with our two little boys, they are such a blessing in our lives.
But, sometimes there is a voice deep inside of you that you know is not your own, telling you to press forward. Don't listen to the world, trust in me. We have been blessed with a great comforting feeling from God that this is part of the plan and that we must proceed forward with faith, "not knowing beforehand the things which we should do." We are still leaving tomorrow. We have no idea what will happen, we have no idea who we will be bringing home. But we are learning many lessons, I suppose we are being refined, although I don't feel it. But I am sure it is one of those things that we will look back on in many years in the future and say we learned a lot!
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